But They Exist Too

It was about 6:20 p.m. when I stepped onto the subway Friday. Although I was catching the tail end of rush and it was dying down, it was still quite busy. Especially when it's busy, I never expect or assume I will get a seat. So when I got on and had to stand I was not surprised or upset in any way. Two stops after boarding the train a lady tapped me on the arm. She pointed out a seat that had just been vacated and stepped aside so I could get to it. I had less than the width of the subway car to travel to get to the seat but before I could reach it a man went to sit down in the now empty seat. The lady who had tapped me on the arm stopped him and gestured towards me, indicating the seat was for me. With a little reluctance, he stood up and stepped aside. As he did this, another woman swooped in and sat down.

I should mention, ALL of this happens while we are stopped at the same stop. Really not much time goes by at all.

Back to the woman who has just sat down. Once again the lady who originally tapped me on the arm gestures towards me to say the seat was for me. The woman who has just sat down gives me the once over, up and back down, then makes a face and shakes her head no. She was not elderly, pregnant, or visibly disabled (not to say she couldn't have been, but she sure didn't appear to be). All I can say is "seriously?!". I swear you could feel the reaction of everyone around. It wasn't just surprised expressions but gasps and uncomfortable chuckles of disbelief.

Almost immediately the woman next to her got up and offered me her seat. As she did, she gave me a look to say "I can't believe that just happened". I was thankful for the seat, I still had several stops to go and the subway was still pretty full. I did feel a little uncomfortable though, I was now sitting right next to the woman who didn't get up, but at least I had a seat.

I very rarely ask someone for their seat directly. I've done it maybe all of two times. I'm used to people avoiding eye contact or pretending like they don't see me so they won't have to get up. But this actually shocked me. I wasn't even angry, I just couldn't believe it. Mostly because I can't imagine refusing a seat to someone who could clearly use it more than me. A couple months ago I even turned down an offer to sit from a mother with a baby in a sling. I just didn't feel right taking her seat. I definitely wouldn't have been able to stand my ground with about 15 other people standing on the subway staring at me in awe. To each their own I suppose.