Nervous Excitement

Back to work I go! I have been off work now for exactly 16 months. I can't believe it has been that long.

I began the process of returning to work at least a month and a half ago. Between informing my long term disability contact / insurance company that I was ready to go back and actually going back to work several things have happened. I had an hour and a half phone assessment/interview, various emails between me and my insurance, contact between my insurance and HR where I work, the drafting of a gradual return to work plan, minor tweaking of the plan, more contact between insurance and HR, signed approval of the plan from my surgeon, and finally an official back to work date. It would seem returning to work is more difficult than going on leave.

Tomorrow, March 20th 2012, is my official first day back since November 20th 2010. Again, it seems unreal that it has been so long. In some ways it feels like only a couple months ago I was working full time. But when I think of all that I've gone through and everything that has changed in my life since I was last at work, the 16 months seems much more believable.

I am very excited to be returning to work. I'm looking forward to having more to do with my days. It will also be really nice to have to use my brain again. Although it may take awhile for some of my braincells to wake up, they've been hibernating for quite some time now. Being around others and having people to socialize with, even if it's work related, will be fantastic. And while I did have long term disability coverage and was receiving a reduced percentage of my pay, I look forward to earning my full salary again.

Despite the excitement, I'm also really nervous about returning to work. It's not that I truly believe I can't handle it or won't be ok, I wouldn't have said I'd go back if I thought that, I just can't help but worry about it. I'm afraid it will be too much for me, that I'll be exhausted or really sore. I'm concerned I won't be able to sit in an office chair for that long. At the same time I hope I don't end up standing or walking around too much throughout the day either.

My return to work will be a gradual one which helps alleviate some of the stress and worry about it being too much to handle. I'm only actually working 4 hours tomorrow. The same goes for Friday. My progression back to full time is spread out over 7 weeks. Each week increasing the number of hours and/or days. On the 8th week, May 7th, I'm scheduled to return to full time hours. I work for a great employer and have a manager and co-workers who I'm sure will be really helpful and understanding and will make this an easy transition back for me. Besides, there's no turning back now. The plan is already in place.

Now I just need to remember where I put my set of work keys.