Tuesday 31 July 2012
So Behind
I know. I know. It's been ages since I've updated my blog. I've definitely fallen a little behind. Finding time to write new posts slowly became more and more of a challenge as I went back to work and now that it's the summer there seems to be even fewer free hours and weekends to get caught up. I appreciate all of my readers and hope this hasn't discouraged you from continuing to follow me. I plan on writing several new posts for all the stories and events I've missed from this month and hopefully you will all be caught up shortly. Stay tuned for posts about adventures at my cottage, climbing a 100ft tower and other random happenings.
Thursday 26 July 2012
One Year Follow Up
July 6, 2012 marked one year since my surgery. My one year follow up appointment came a week and a half later on July 17th. I did, however, have a party on the 7th to celebrate a year of cancer free scans. I was a little worried it might be bad luck to celebrate before I actually had results from my one year scans but it turns out there was no harm in celebrating ahead of time.
Not only were my CT, xrays, and blood tests clear for any signs of cancer, my oncologist has decided I can have my portacath removed. It's a small device that was inserted just under my skin, sits between my chest and collar bone, and has a direct line into one of the veins in my neck. This is how my chemotherapy was administered. It was left in for a whole year after finishing chemotherapy until I had established a record of clear scans. There would be no point in removing the port only to have to put it back in.
Celebrating one year feels great. It's hard to believe that much time has gone by already. I still have to continue seeing both my surgeon and oncologist every three months for the next two years though. Once I reach three years of clear scans I will progress to appointments every six months. I'm ok with the frequent appointments for the times being. It's extra assurance that everything is still going well. I have people keeping a constant eye on me with repeat scans and blood tests. It puts me in such a great mood the day after receiving positive news at a follow up appointment. I know that at least for the moment, everything is just fine.
The down side to having frequent appointments is the evening before. It's really easy to start wondering, "What if the scans show a new growth?" "How am I going to tell everyone that I have cancer, again?" "Who should I tell in person and who will I email?" "What if tonight is my last night being cancer free?" It certainly makes for a scary, stressful, sleepless night. I'm a positive, optimistic person too, I can't imagine what the night before a follow up appointment is like for a negative, pessimistic person. The important thing is, I got the all clear. So I'll try not to worry or stress about it for at least the next three months.
While at my appointment I showed both my doctors that I could walk without my crutches. I insisted on showing them at the same time, I usually see them each separately, but didn't say what it was I was going to show them until they were both there. My surgeon and oncologist, along with all of their residents and interns and the nurses who were around, gathered to watch as I took a couple steps down the hall. My surgeon wasn't quite as excited as I would have liked him to be but everyone was really happy. He seemed much more impressed when we told him I had recently climbed a fire tower without my crutches, but I'll get to that in another post.
At the very end of my appointment he said he'd be looking forward to hearing about what new adventures I'd been up to. I think I've gone from surprising and impressing them at each appointment with my accomplishments to everyone expecting me to tell them about something new and unbelievable that I've done or learned to do. Who knows what I'll be telling them I did or can do three months from now.
Not only were my CT, xrays, and blood tests clear for any signs of cancer, my oncologist has decided I can have my portacath removed. It's a small device that was inserted just under my skin, sits between my chest and collar bone, and has a direct line into one of the veins in my neck. This is how my chemotherapy was administered. It was left in for a whole year after finishing chemotherapy until I had established a record of clear scans. There would be no point in removing the port only to have to put it back in.
Celebrating one year feels great. It's hard to believe that much time has gone by already. I still have to continue seeing both my surgeon and oncologist every three months for the next two years though. Once I reach three years of clear scans I will progress to appointments every six months. I'm ok with the frequent appointments for the times being. It's extra assurance that everything is still going well. I have people keeping a constant eye on me with repeat scans and blood tests. It puts me in such a great mood the day after receiving positive news at a follow up appointment. I know that at least for the moment, everything is just fine.
The down side to having frequent appointments is the evening before. It's really easy to start wondering, "What if the scans show a new growth?" "How am I going to tell everyone that I have cancer, again?" "Who should I tell in person and who will I email?" "What if tonight is my last night being cancer free?" It certainly makes for a scary, stressful, sleepless night. I'm a positive, optimistic person too, I can't imagine what the night before a follow up appointment is like for a negative, pessimistic person. The important thing is, I got the all clear. So I'll try not to worry or stress about it for at least the next three months.
While at my appointment I showed both my doctors that I could walk without my crutches. I insisted on showing them at the same time, I usually see them each separately, but didn't say what it was I was going to show them until they were both there. My surgeon and oncologist, along with all of their residents and interns and the nurses who were around, gathered to watch as I took a couple steps down the hall. My surgeon wasn't quite as excited as I would have liked him to be but everyone was really happy. He seemed much more impressed when we told him I had recently climbed a fire tower without my crutches, but I'll get to that in another post.
At the very end of my appointment he said he'd be looking forward to hearing about what new adventures I'd been up to. I think I've gone from surprising and impressing them at each appointment with my accomplishments to everyone expecting me to tell them about something new and unbelievable that I've done or learned to do. Who knows what I'll be telling them I did or can do three months from now.
Friday 6 July 2012
Best Anniversary Ever
You don't need me to summarize the last year for you. It's laid out right here in the last 92 blog posts. There have been high points and low points and oh so man firsts.
... Or at least this is what I thought I would write leading up to today. That is until I went to physio.
Today is the one year anniversary of my surgery. It has also been an entire year with scans clear of any signs of cancer!!! If that's not an anniversary to celebrate, I don't know what is. I was already in a fantastic mood heading to physio but leave it to them to make my day even better. They had cake and flowers and a "Congrats" balloon for me. The cake even had a #1 candle on it. I felt so special. Everyone was so excited and happy for me. I've been going to the clinic for 9 months now, usually 5 times a week, and I've become close with most of the staff there. They've been first hand witnesses to some of my greatest struggles. And to the biggest accomplishments as well.
After all the excitement, congratulations, hugs, and pictures, we got down to work. I was there for physio after all.
They say even the longest journey begins with a single step. Mine has been leading up to one. With every day, every exercise, every progression, every set back, the thought of taking a single step without crutches or a cane has always been in the back of my mind. Early on in my session today I was able to do the stairs without any assistive device. I held on to the railing but that was it. This was huge! My current as well as original physio were both there for it and we were all so excited. Especially as it was just one week prior that I tried the stairs with a cane for the first time. This day literally just kept getting better. And it wasn't over yet.
As I was standing in the hall with my cane, my original physio was encouraging me to try taking a step without it. She was excited because I had just done so well on the stairs and was sure I could take a step. I tried a couple times but would end up leaning on my cane or not be able to get my left foot off the ground. It seemed like I wasn't there yet. Close but not quite. So my current physio and I continued with other exercises.
After showing more improvement on the things we were working on, she too thought I should try walking without my cane. Cane in hand, attempting not to put weight into it, I gave it another try. This time it appeared like it may actually be possible. We went into the hall for more space and got ready to give it a real try. Wait! I needed to call my original physio over to see. I knew she'd want to see it. I'd hate to be successful and for her to miss it, especially if she was just down the hall.
So with both physios watching, one close by to grab me just in case the attempt was less than successful, I gave it a real try. Like so many new things I attempt, it's just as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one. Here we go... lean cane against the wall... transfer some weight onto the right leg... a little more... pause until I feel stable... deep breath... step forward with left leg (easier said than done)... Oh my gosh, I did it! ... Okay, let's take another step...Wow, I can't believe this is actually happening right now... Take another step.
Obviously we took a video. These were my very first steps in a year. Not the type of moment we'd want to miss. First steps can only happen once. This is just the beginning though. If it's possible, I think I'm even more determined to walk without crutches or a cane now.
It felt really weird to be walking and have both hands free. I've had to use my arms, or at least one, for every single step I've taken over the last year. I don't think I've ever been happier. I couldn't sit still for the rest of the night. Without a doubt, that is a moment I will never forget! The fact that it happened on my one year anniversary just made it that much sweeter!
... Or at least this is what I thought I would write leading up to today. That is until I went to physio.
Today is the one year anniversary of my surgery. It has also been an entire year with scans clear of any signs of cancer!!! If that's not an anniversary to celebrate, I don't know what is. I was already in a fantastic mood heading to physio but leave it to them to make my day even better. They had cake and flowers and a "Congrats" balloon for me. The cake even had a #1 candle on it. I felt so special. Everyone was so excited and happy for me. I've been going to the clinic for 9 months now, usually 5 times a week, and I've become close with most of the staff there. They've been first hand witnesses to some of my greatest struggles. And to the biggest accomplishments as well.
After all the excitement, congratulations, hugs, and pictures, we got down to work. I was there for physio after all.
They say even the longest journey begins with a single step. Mine has been leading up to one. With every day, every exercise, every progression, every set back, the thought of taking a single step without crutches or a cane has always been in the back of my mind. Early on in my session today I was able to do the stairs without any assistive device. I held on to the railing but that was it. This was huge! My current as well as original physio were both there for it and we were all so excited. Especially as it was just one week prior that I tried the stairs with a cane for the first time. This day literally just kept getting better. And it wasn't over yet.
As I was standing in the hall with my cane, my original physio was encouraging me to try taking a step without it. She was excited because I had just done so well on the stairs and was sure I could take a step. I tried a couple times but would end up leaning on my cane or not be able to get my left foot off the ground. It seemed like I wasn't there yet. Close but not quite. So my current physio and I continued with other exercises.
After showing more improvement on the things we were working on, she too thought I should try walking without my cane. Cane in hand, attempting not to put weight into it, I gave it another try. This time it appeared like it may actually be possible. We went into the hall for more space and got ready to give it a real try. Wait! I needed to call my original physio over to see. I knew she'd want to see it. I'd hate to be successful and for her to miss it, especially if she was just down the hall.
So with both physios watching, one close by to grab me just in case the attempt was less than successful, I gave it a real try. Like so many new things I attempt, it's just as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one. Here we go... lean cane against the wall... transfer some weight onto the right leg... a little more... pause until I feel stable... deep breath... step forward with left leg (easier said than done)... Oh my gosh, I did it! ... Okay, let's take another step...Wow, I can't believe this is actually happening right now... Take another step.
Obviously we took a video. These were my very first steps in a year. Not the type of moment we'd want to miss. First steps can only happen once. This is just the beginning though. If it's possible, I think I'm even more determined to walk without crutches or a cane now.
It felt really weird to be walking and have both hands free. I've had to use my arms, or at least one, for every single step I've taken over the last year. I don't think I've ever been happier. I couldn't sit still for the rest of the night. Without a doubt, that is a moment I will never forget! The fact that it happened on my one year anniversary just made it that much sweeter!
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