It was just over 5 weeks ago that I started going to physio and a little over 19 weeks since I went in for surgery to have a right internal hemipelvectomy. If you have been reading my blog since the beginning you know I have had a handful of accomplishments along the way with only a few set backs. It's hard to say what constitutes a big accomplishment rather than just a minor step in the right direction. This is primarily because everything I've accomplished are things I'm sure each and everyone one of you can do and probably don't even have to think about doing. Even some of the really small things I've tackled getting to this point were really huge at the time. Like sitting up on my own for the first time after surgery. Or taking my first step with a walker and then the next day, crutches. Each accomplishment, big or small, is a very necessary step in achieving my ultimate goal. Walking!
I think it's safe to say physio on Friday makes the list of big accomplishments. I took my first steps with just one crutch. I was also holding the hand of my physiotherapist, well actually just her one finger, for a little extra support/stability. I think part of my holding on to her is a mental obstacle rather than physical. More than anything I want to take that first step with 100% of my weight and without any kind of help but it's kind of scary. For months I had to make a conscious effort not to put any weight on the leg so it could heal properly. Then when I was given the go ahead for some light weight bearing, I had to get used to how it felt when I did so. It was pretty weird at first but is starting to feel more natural. Now I face the mental challenge of trusting that my leg can handle the weight and is stable enough to take that step. So although I needed that extra hand and took each step with a bit of a 'hop', I DID take several steps using just the one crutch. And that's a start!
We've been taking videos periodically at physio to record my progress. It has also been a great way to keep my parents/family from constantly checking up on me because with the videos they can see I'm doing well. We definitely documented these 'big' steps. I've re-watched this video several time over the past 3 days and I smile every time I get to the end and the me in the video has this proud look on her/my face. I also think watching the video is building the confidence I have in my right leg. Seeing myself take the steps, rather than just doing them, is somehow more convincing that the leg will hold my weight. I'm sure the fear will go away with time and practice.
It wasn't until I went to write this post that I realised Friday had been the 27th day of physio. 27 has always been my favourite number. It was even my jersey number on every team / sport I played. Maybe there really is something to lucky numbers.
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